What Happens Between Motherhood and Menopause at Work?

At a recent AXA event that I attended, a speaker shared their perspective on menopause with a really refreshing spin. The idea was to look at menopause as a way to channel the energy that we had given from bearing children to a phase where we could now focus on ourselves. I loved the way she framed it. It offered a much more positive way of thinking about a transition that is usually talked about in cautionary terms.

But her comment also got me thinking. Why does focusing some of that energy back on ourselves have to come later? Why is it so common for women to spend so many years before putting their own needs further and further down the list? And what happens during all the transitions in between?

I think about all the women I have spoken to over the years and how consistently I hear some version of, “I don’t know where I belong anymore.” Motherhood can shift our identity, priorities, capacity and relationship with work, while at the same time we’re trying to meet expectations at home and continue showing up professionally as we did before. 

Layered on top of all of this, is the expectation that we are present, thoughtful partners all while running a household and looking incredibly fit. Professionally, the wheel doesn’t stop turning and women are expected to return to work and pick up where we left off as if having a child is but a moment in time. 

It made me think about how many significant transitions a woman can experience over the course of her working life, and how often we treat each one as a separate issue rather than looking at the whole picture. Returning to work after maternity leave is a good example.

Organizations understandably need to think about the practicalities. When is someone coming back? Will they return full-time? Do they need flexibility? What arrangements need to be made? Beyond the logistics, there is so much more happening internally. A woman’s life may have changed significantly between the period of giving birth to returning to work. 

She may be reconsidering her priorities. Her capacity may feel vastly different from what it was pre-baby. She may be questioning what success truly means to her at this stage in her life. She may feel she has lost some of her professional confidence and be figuring out where she fits in the workplace again.

The transition to motherhood can happen during some of the most important years for career progression, when women may also be taking on greater responsibility and/or moving towards leadership which is why motherhood isn't only a personal transition. From an organizational perspective, it can also be an important talent transition.

I’m glad we’re seeing much more attention being paid to perimenopause and menopause in the workplace. It’s long overdue. But it also makes me wonder about what happened earlier in that same woman’s career. What support did she have when she became a mother? What happened when she returned to work? How was she supported as she tried to figure out where her career fitted into a life that had fundamentally changed?

Motherhood and menopause are very different experiences, but both made me think about a bigger question: are we looking at a woman's working life as a whole?

I think there is an opportunity for organizations to think much more broadly about what supporting women throughout their careers actually means including flexible ramps back to work, education, manager & leadership training, empowering managers with discretionary time off for their teams along with broader initiatives company wide to build a more understanding and overall inclusive environment.

If organizations are serious about retaining and developing women into senior leadership, we need to look at what is happening much earlier in their careers too. Maybe the question isn’t how we support women through menopause, or even how we support women through motherhood. 

Perhaps we should be asking how organizations can support women through the critical life and career transitions that can shape retention, progression and leadership.